Using Children as Pawns

August 10, 2009 at 8:51 PM 2 comments

Can a parent, with all the love we have for our children, lose site of what’s best for them when angry at the other parent? You betcha! Too often are parents so enthralled in their little world of anger that they lose site of what’s best for the child. They make decisions based on anger and self-pity and use the children as a weapon of emotional destruction towards the other parent.

Unless there is a perfectly good reason, punishing the other parent by turning the children against them, or trying to, and keeping the children away is not only selfish but harmful to the child as this can affect them in their teen years as well as adulthood.

Below are suggested sites that can help you learn more about this subject and perhaps help you become a better parent. We’re not perfect. We acknowledge our mistakes and for the love of our children, make it better each day.

How to Make Shared Custody Work

Surviving Divorce and Separation

The Politics of Divorce

Have other suggested sites? Comment and share!

SP Magazine

Entry filed under: child rearing, children, custody, father's rights, fathers, kids, parent, parental rights, single dad, single father, single mom, single mother, single parent. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Geffen Liberman  |  August 11, 2009 at 1:32 PM

    I am glad this is a topic because I see this all the time. Short of blatant child abuse, nothing could be more dangerous to the development of a child than what is described here. This is psychology 101 at work. When a child hears “I love you” from mom and dad, then hears them say it to each other, and then turn around and one day bash one another, the child naturally, subconciously understands that mommy or daddy could one day “turn” on them also. What an unsafe feeling for a child. I don’t care how much you hate you ex(which is a little weird anyway since they did help create your child)do not bash them in front of the kids. Find other ways to deal with your hurt and anger. Your self centeredness will make the situation worse and you and your child will pay serious dues later in life. Sorry to be so harsh but that is honest.

  • 2. Chris  |  August 25, 2009 at 2:50 PM

    Parents on the receiving end can combat this by a few simple steps:

    Tell them how much you love them.
    Do not bash your ex to them or around them.
    Answer the questions or lies TRUTHFULLY to your children which they heard from the ex spouse.
    Stay involved with them whether its school, sporting or social events.

    Your children will grow up quickly and they will see the light once they get older.


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